Monthly Archives: December 2015

The Lost Common Sense

by Wong Kar Wei

When the phrase ‘common sense’ is being mentioned, what goes through your mind? An understanding that we are supposed to follow? Something that we are supposed to do in certain situation?

But when common sense is not a common practice yet, what makes common sense a common sense after all?!

Let’s take a slightly deeper look into this.

Common sense comes from a ‘Perception’ in our mind that gives us an indication of what our action or thought should be. From this PERCEPTION in our mind,  it will lead to how are we going to ACCEPT the fact that encourages us to make a CHOICE of whether what the next course of action will be.

From a CHOICE that we’ve made, common sense is then established.

For some of us who don’t even have a ‘common sense’ on what we should achieve in life, or where we should head to in life, we will be categorised as ‘LOST’, which means (LIFE OF SOMEONE TERRIBLE). When someone reaches this condition, they will somehow feel that life is full of obstacles, full of uncertainties, full of hardship, full of difficulties, full of sadness, full of negative things, lack of confidence, feel that they can’t do this and that, unfit for any activities, and guess what is the result will be?………Yes, LOST!

Let me share a story with you, and this story starts with Mr. J who has been a friend for almost 15 years now, starting from our crazy days. He has been living with his career of spreading knowledge to individuals who would like to seek knowledge in his particular field, music.

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Now and then we would just catch up for a cup of tea and chill out. The stories that came from Mr. J since day 1 until today, has been the same repetitive thing , which sums up into one word – ‘COMPLAINTS’. Each and everything that Mr. J said and mentioned has the element of complaints in it. Complaints about work, market, crowd, students, economy, etc etc, well…..basically, everything.

Advise has been given to Mr. J for him to get something else to do, find some other things to explore, and what are the answer from Mr. J? “Yes, I shall do it tomorrow” and apparently, that tomorrow has not happened and tomorrow never came to him until this very day.

Now this Mr. J has already reached the condition of LOST….and I guess no one would like to end up like that, right?

Nothing else matters to Mr. J, and nothing much can be done to help him because everything comes from within – from attitude, discipline, determination, desire, perception, just basically everything; has to start from within. A good cultivation beginning internally is essential to help Mr. J.

Don’t let the example of Mr. J ruin our lives.

Come join us in the wonderful journey to WIN the WAR from WITHIN’, our signature programme, and also a revolutionary personal development and leadership programme – delivered through the Wing Chun martial art (The S.E.E.D principle) in order for all of us to find our path to a brighter and greater life ahead……

Reach out to us at


The 5 Coaching Conversations


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Typically, a meta-coach’s role is to facilitate the process of discovery and insight of a coachee through a conversation. As such, it is essential that a coaching contract first be laid out, to ensure that the direction of the conversation is what is needed and understood – both by the coach and the coachee.

Don’t get me wrong, in the process of the initial conversation, the coachee may discover deeper meanings of what they are looking for, and so, the conversation may take a different turn from time to time – which is most likely the case. By identifying the type of conversation the coachee is looking for, a coach will then be able to stay on top of things, using the right tools and methods that can efficiently help the coachee in the best possible way.

Here are 5 types of conversations that may possibly take place:

CLARITY Conversation

The coachee is unsure of whats happening around them right now and is so caught up with their daily activities that they seem to have lost their direction. They are looking to explore possibilities and fire up passion again through a journey of discovery to seek clarity of who they are or where they want to go.

The coach facilitates through Well-Formed Outcome questions or by using NLP’s Meta Model and Meta Questions.

DECISION Conversation

The coachee knows what has to be done, when, where and why. Still, a decision has not been made on taking action and moving forward. The coachee lacks commitment and accountability or has something holding them back from making that step.

The coach facilitates using the Axes of Change Model.

PLANNING Conversation

Can the coachee list down the steps / plan of action? Do they have a strategy that will bring them closer to their goals? If something fails or doesn’t work, do they have a strategy to counter that? This conversation sheds light on various aspects of the coachee’s tasking capabilities.

The coach facilitates using Well-Formed Outcome questions.


Stuck in a box? Unable to get creative? Feels like a dead end and theres nothing that can be done? The coachee requires stimulation that will help find resources to enable them to be empowered. Role playing, patterns and creative thoughts invoke the coachee to find various alternatives of moving ahead.

The coach facilitates using The Matrix Model and Self Actualization Quadrants.

CHANGE Conversation

Perhaps one of the most common conversations that is sought after by coachees. Be it performance, developmental or transformational, the coachee is seeking a change of state, environment or just simply doing things a little bit differently.

The coach facilitates using the Axes of Change Model or the Self Actualization Quadrants.


Wondering how you can conduct an effective coaching conversation?

Explore our signature program: Coaching at the Workplace or contact us at

Referenced from: L. Michael Hall, PhD